“I don’t think I’m fit into this major…”
“Why do I need to learn this?? It doesn’t even have any connection to my major!”
“College life sucks. Especially the lecturers”
I was so happy!
That’s what I felt After the long fight– full of blood and tears– for my university entrance exam. Then FINALLY. Yes, Finally I enrolled to my dream University, my dream Major, and my dreamed College Life. I even thought that my life has been upgraded. My confidence rose sharply, and my “smartness” increases.
I thought that the world’s already on the palm of my hand and I could become president of Indonesia someday!
But it didn’t last long.
Having a college life is like riding a roller-coaster. Sometimes you feel like you’re on top of the world, sometimes you’re at the bottom of the world. My college life changed dramatically after my first three months living in my “dreamed college life”. It sucks. The lecturers, fake friends, and and lectures itself sucks.
If you ever watch those sweet-romantic-thrilling-college-life Movies, the you should now be realized that, those movies about college life you watched, are fake. Yes, fake. The real college life are 180 degrees different from those in movies we watched. It doesn’t have drama, full of formalities, you have to keep being nice to people, fake smile, and so on. Moreover, you have to be the same as what your lecturers said you have to be, or else, you’ll end up getting bad scores, bad reputation, and many bad things you didn’t want to get into.
Regret always comes due.
After my first 3 months learning about my major, I realized that I’m not fit in the environment of my major. I can’t have a proper conversation with my colleagues ,my interest isn’t theirs and so on and so on. You keep finding these kind of mismatches until you you realize that you were wrong. “What have I done? Did I f**ked up my life or what?”.
What should I do?
That’s the first thing that I thought after I realised that my college life sucks. I felt like the whole world is my enemy. The heaven is delivering me a great pressure. I felt that everything that I fought in the past are for nothing. I’ve made a wrong decision. What should I do? Should I just end this sucked college life? or… what?
What does it mean?
If you ever got into those regrets, dilemma, and depression, then you’re almost there. You’re almost finding what you truly is. You realized the things you dislike, and you discovered what you want to do in your life. You realized that not all your “friends” are your friend. Not all bad people you met are as bad as you think before and vice versa.
But, you know what? We survived even after all of those things we’ve been through. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger huh? Soon after you reached this stage in university life, you’ll be resurrected as the true you. So, who are you? what are the things you like and you dislike? what are the things that makes you feeling depressed?
Share what you think and let’s discuss it further, because I think everyone in the college can relate to this. Don’t you think? See you on the comment section.
This is my life experience series that will be updated every Monday. This blog post is FOR YOU, yes you, that currently studying in any major on any university in the world.